Various Artists - Short Music For Short People

This is hands down the most ridiculous record I own. For those unfamiliar with it, Short Music for Short People is a Fat Wreck Chords compilation (a variation on the Fat Music for Fat People series) containing 101 songs by 101 bands each about 30-seconds long and crammed into 50 minutes. Pretty much every US punk band who had made a name for themselves in the late-90's (and plenty who hadn't, plus some non-US bands) appeared either with an album track, or a specially recorded song. They're all here, and I'll leave it to you to check the pictures below or the Wikipedia page to confirm that.

When I was 16 my friends Tom and Nick both had a copy of this on cd, and I remember thinking it was a pretty ridiculous but amusing idea at the time. On cd the format just about works - cds are limited to 99 tracks so the last three ran together as one track. Most importantly, if there's a song you like, you can easily check what number you're on and figure out who you're listening to. That's not an option on vinyl. The songs are so tightly crammed onto the two sides that there's no space for even one gap in the grooves, let alone 50 per side.

Both one of the best and worst things about this album was the huge number of bands it exposed us to. On one hand, we heard songs by bands like Black Flag and The Descendants but, on the other, they were only 30-seconds long so hardly the best example of their music. In fact, I think it's safe to say that none of the bands here really have the opportunity to show off their best side (except maybe Spazz, to whom 30-seconds is a long song) so I ended up ignoring a lot of these bands for a while for being "Short Music for Short People bands", rather than exploring properly. Twelve years later, I know a lot of these bands much better and it seems like shame that Like a Fish in Water had to be my introduction to The Bouncing Souls, for example.

Anyway, shortly before returning to Canberra for my second semester there, I found this LP in JB-Hifi in Sydney. I remembered how ridiculous it was, but also the good times we had listening to it at Tom's house and thought it would be a nice album to have on vinyl, so decided to pick it up (they also had a Supersuckers record on glow-in-the-dark vinyl that I still regret not buying). The excellent exchange rate meant it was only £6.90 and I had a nice chat with the sales guy about the album (he hadn't heard it, but wanted a copy himself). The cd booklet is included in a slightly larger 8"x8" size, which is a nice touch (and pretty much the only way to keep up with the songs). Each band gets a quarter of a page for whatever info they want to include.

I don't play this album a great deal, but it's format doesn't really lend itself to regular plays, especially not as an adult. There are highlights though, and my personal favourites are You Don't Know Shit by Youth Brigade, Fishfuck by Gwar (although mostly for comedy value) and Blatty (Human Egg) by Sick of it All.


Format: 12", 8"x8" booklet
Tracks: 101
Cost: £6.90 new
Bought: JB-Hifi, Sydney
When: 09/02/06
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no

At the Drive-In - Relationship of Command

Relationship of Command is one of my all-time favourite records. I'm talking top-5 here, possibly even top-3 depending on how I'm feeling that day. From the second those pounding drums start at the beginning of Arcarsenal I know I'm going to spend the next 40 minutes smiling, foot-tapping and air-drumming away. I love it.

The first time the name At the Drive-In registered on my conscience was on a free cd on the cover of Kerrang! magazine - The Devil's Music Volume 2. The first volume in this series had been pretty influential for my friends and me (introducing us to Glassjaw, Pitchshifter, One Minute Silence and a whole load of other bands that we spent years listening to), and the second one had a couple of gems, albeit mostly songs by bands that we'd soon be embarrassed to say we liked. The two exceptions to this were Cosmonaut by At the Drive-In and Tension Head by Queens of the Stone Age (which remains to be my favourite QOTSA song). I got the cd just before a family holiday to France and spent many hours in the car with my sister's Walkman listening to those two in particular.

Somehow four whole years passed before I got a copy of Relationship of Command. I certainly heard the album more than once in that time, and even had tickets to see them on a tour that eventually never happened (they were due to play the Pyramids Center in Portsmouth on the evening of my last GCSE - IT, I think - but cancelled and broke up. Needless to say, I was pretty gutted but the show in London last summer pretty much made up for it). Anyway, Christmas 2004 my sister bought me the Fearless Records cd-reissue of Relationship (with the bonus track Extracurricular) and it quickly became a favourite of mine. I think I asked for a copy from her as a present having been reminded how much I liked them on the live Jools Holland dvd - my friend Matt had a copy and their performance of One Armed Scissor was incredible.

A year and a half later I moved to Australia for a year and my first task upon arriving in Canberra was to scope out the local record shops. Canberra had a couple - the national chain JB-Hifi and an independent (excellently) named Land Speed Records. In my first few weeks I bought a bunch of cds and one LP - this copy of Relationship of Command. The selection of vinyl in both shops was pretty impressive, but even still I was surprised to see a copy of Relationship given that the original cd had long gone out of print. At AU$18, it seemed a bit pricey, but it £'s it was a bargain (the exchange rate made things seem really expensive, which was good at stopping me from buying things unless I really wanted them). I didn't have a record player for the first few months, so it just looked pretty on my shelf while I listened to the mp3s.

So, what's to say about the album itself? It's incredible and I can't think of a post-hardcore album that comes anyway near close to it. All of the songs are great (One Armed Scissor, Invalid Letter Dept. and Cosmonaut being particular highlights) and the whole record is littered with these fantastic little moments, like the drums I mentioned on Arcarsenal, the handclaps on Enfilade or the raspy vocals on Quarantined. One of the things I always loved was that despite the huge songs along the way, I was always left with the closer Catacombs in my head and I'd be singing the huge chorus to myself for days. A lot of records don't end well, but this one saves a punch for last. The energy of the music is unstoppable and it still sounds to me as exciting as it did all those years ago, despite being nearly a teenager itself.

I got into At the Drive-in slowly over the years that followed that Christmas, picking up the other albums as and when I found them. The whole back-catalogue is being re-printed it seems, allowing me to get Vaya and In/Casino/Out on vinyl (a post on the latter in due course). Acrobatic Tenement and Relationship reissues are due out this spring apparently and I'll definitely be picking up a copy of the former. Musically, I enjoyed the other albums and they had some excellent songs but, for me at least, it's all about Relationship of Command.


Format: 12", picture sleeve
Tracks: 12
Cost: £7.61 new
Bought: JB-Hifi, Canberra
When: 16/07/05
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no