LostProphets - The Fake Sound of Progress

Christ, I have not been looking forward to writing about this album. There's a bunch of things to say before the needle even hits the record. Ian Watkins is, without doubt, a truly despicable person; the things he did were so far beyond any notion of human decency that I can't even. I've not listened to this album since before the news broke about his arrest and I doubt I'll ever want to listen to it again after today. When the full details came out after his trial I felt sick. I'd spent so many years listening to his music - the thought that maybe he wasn't such a sick fuck when they recorded this provides no comfort, because there's probably no truth in that idea. I rarely say such things, but I really hope prison is every bit as bad as television makes out it is for him; he deserves a thoroughly horrific time.

I'm reluctant to play this (partly for fear people will hear me and judge me). Like many people, I spent a lot of time in my teenage years listening to LostProphets - we went to see them a bunch of times and the t-shirt I had of theirs was one of my favourites (I remember consciously choosing to wear on my first day at university, a decision I doubly regret now). The Fake Sound of Progress is an album I have fond memories of. It doesn't stand anywhere near the worst things Watkins did, but he has more than tainted those memories. By the time they released the second album, I was getting into other genres and not so interested in the music they were playing. But, for three years, they were a band I liked and I listened to a lot - so much so, I bought this vinyl when it got re-released about two years after the album came out originally.

Here we go, dropping the arm onto the vinyl now. The opening riff used to be the sign of an enjoyable 40 minutes of music, but now I'm just feeling uncomfortable. Watkins' Mike Patton-impersonation used to be enjoyable, but now he just sounds like a nasally, strange man (which barely touches on the names he deserves to be called). I want to write about the nostalgia and the feelings I had back in the day, but it's really difficult.

Needless to say, the turntables haven't aged well, but I think we all knew at the time they wouldn't. As a song we used to throw ourselves around to in the mosh pit, Shinobi Vs. Dragon Ninja (ridiculous title) was huge - the outro that almost brings the song back in but then just stops was great. The title track was categorically a better song, and pretty representative of the rest of the album, longer and more varied than Shinobi. In a lot of ways, I'm feeling entirely disconnected from the music, certainly at a conscious level - I'm trying to listen to it but I don't want to take any enjoyment from it anymore. On the other hand, the riffs and breaks for the choruses just take me right back to all those times we saw them, throwing myself around and having a great time - my heart and head say no, but my body is right back there somehow. Strange.

...And She Told Me To Leave has aged better than I expected, mainly for the guitars in the chorus, and I always liked the layered vocals at the end. Kobrakai was one of the highlights too, the drop-D tuned guitars working their nu-metal magic. The turntablist's throaty vocals throughout The Handsome Life of Swing caught me off-guard back in the day, but now provide a welcome break from the regular vocals. A Thousand Apologies was peak-Faith No More for the band, a connection it'd take me a few years to fully realise.

Have I ruined this album and my memories further by listening to it now? Probably not. I didn't want to listen to it, but my own ridiculous rules for this blog meant I knew I was going to have to at some point. I think I can keep my memories of it separate from my opinions of playing it in 2017. I remember thinking An Ode to Summer was a great song, and there's a very good chance that my opinions on it would have changed by now anyway. It's a shame they've changed in the way they have. I really can't think of any reason why I'd ever play this album again.

Format: 12", picture sleeve
Tracks: 11
Cost: £14 new
Bought: Virgin Megastore, London
When: 07/03/03
Colour: Clear
Etching: none
mp3s: no

Cyclefly - No Stress

I was a big fan of Cyclefly when I was 15. I can't remember how I first heard their music but a combination of events happened in a short period of time that made me a fan: I heard a song somehow (maybe on the Radio One Rock Show? Maybe on a Metal Hammer or Rock Sound free cd. It was almost certainly the song Crawl Down, one of the highlights from their first album), Kerrang! Magazine had written about them a couple of times, and it was announced that they'd be supporting Bush on their tour of their third album, The Science of Things, which a bunch of us had got tickets for. I enjoyed their set that night and eagerly awaited their debut album, Generation Sap, coming out. I rushed into town to get it on the first day it came out; I remember being particularly excited to buy a band's debut album on the day it was released (in the hope that one day they'd be huge and I could say "I got their first album the day it came out". 17 years later and I've never found myself boasting of that out loud…).

I picked up a bunch of their singles over the following months very cheaply at some record fairs and was very excited to read on their website that they were working on a second album, at the time called Tales From the Fish Bowl, or something like that. Then things went very quiet until 2002 when they announced the new album would be called Crave. They played some shows ahead of the release and I saw them in The Joiners with a band called Cortizone. I enjoyed the show a lot, and grabbed a setlist at the end, that has lived inside this 7" for most of the last 15 years.

The most curious thing about the setlist is that they start and end with this single, No Stress. I've never known a band to do that before - play the same song twice in their set. It was a bold move, and I think worked - Hugh commented on how catchy and familiar "that song they played last" was, not realising it was familiar because they opened with it. Anyway, the big talking point about the new album was that they somehow got one of the singers from Linkin Park to do guest vocals on a song - it was 2002, so this was big news. But for whatever reason, that wasn't a single. In fact, I think No Stress was the only single they released from that album. They didn't seem to get as much out of that Linkin Park collaboration as everyone thought they would.

The notion of No Stress needing a "radio edit" now seems incredibly ambitious - I strongly suspect these guys never made it anywhere near mainstream radio, at least not in anyway that would require a radio edit. It's been a long time since I last played Crave, so I can't put my finger on in what ways the song is edited, but it's by-the-by really. It's still a catchy song - it builds up nicely throughout and does that thing where you think it's over, then it builds up some more. They always did that well. It's a little known fact about Cyclefly (because very few people would ever care) but they had almost uniformly terrible b-sides (and I should know - see above. There was one I quite liked called Kyle, but that was about it). Small Idols is no exception to that rule. What it was about that band that meant they thought it'd be a good idea to write slower, quieter songs, I'll never know. I don't think anyone who enjoyed that band at any point was in for songs like this. Hats off to whoever kept these from getting on the albums.

A few year later I was at university and wearing my Cyclefly t-shirt, browsing through some second-hand records in the square and some guy came up to me and admired my t-shirt. I think that incident, in 2004, was the last time I spoke to anyone about Cyclefly. They certainly never made a lasting mark on music, but there was a time when I was genuinely incredibly excited about that band, so that's something. I started this blog to write down my memories about all my records, and try to appreciate the ones I've neglected. It's also nice, it turns out, to remember the bands that history will probably forget. It's easy to forget a band like Cyclefly, but they did make a mark on me once upon a time.

Format: 7"

Tracks: 2

Cost: £1.50 new

Bought: Virgin Megastore, Southampton

When: 10/04/02

Colour: Black

Etching: none

mp3s: no

Nine Inch Nails - Survivalism

Similarly to the The Hand That Feeds boxset, I got a box (#672/2000?) to store the 9" singles that the band released from their With Teeth follow-up, Year Zero. I had high hopes for Year Zero, having enjoyed With Teeth quite so much, but it was less my thing - it was a concept album and heavily relied on electronic sounds, so it was really everything that I was glad With Teeth wasn't. It had some highlights, but overall wasn't as strong.

However, I did love the alternative reality story that sat alongside the album - the effort that went into that was crazy. I won't go into all the details - I’m sure they're well documented across the internet, but there were messages hidden on t-shirts, billboards, hidden USB drives containing songs and clues and endless websites of back-story; it was genuinely very cool - I bored some friends a few times with my excited stories re-telling what I'd read online (sorry).

The single doesn't do a whole lot for me - it’s a fine NIN song, but nothing to write home about. The b-side is unexpectedly interesting though (given that most NIN remixes aren't great): Saul Williams and Thavius Beck remix Survivalism but, crucially, add a lot. In particular, Saul sings the choruses, which is great. In a lot of ways, it feels closer to a Saul Williams cover of NIN than it does a NIN remix, which is cool. This was all happening around the same time as Trent Reznor producing Saul's Niggy Tardust album, so I guess they were spending a lot of time together. Nine Inch Nails were the reason I got into Saul Williams in the first place, since they had him support them at their Brixton Academy shows just before I went to Australia.

Format: 9", numbered, boxset 

Tracks: 2

Cost: £3 new

Bought: Virgin Megastore, Cardiff

When: 14/04/07

Colour: Black

Etching: none

mp3s: no

Downtown - Downtown

I bought this album having never even heard of the band Downtown; in fact, I think I'm now one of the few people who has ever heard of the band Downtown. The story of how I ended up buying this album is sadly far more interesting than the album itself.

Nine years ago I was in Paris just after New Year. The Virgin Megastore on the Champs Elysees had a huge new year sale and pretty much everything in it was €5. I bought nearly 20 cds and a couple of records (it was 2007 and vinyl wasn't so readily available; the selection was thin but I picked up the excellent A Gun Called Tension LP and the less-excellent Make Believe by Weezer). I rummaged around to see if there was anything I else I half-fancied getting but there was little grabbing me. Given everything was so cheap, I decided that I should just chance it and buy something I knew less about. This record looked interesting - the artwork was fancy (a Klimt - my trendy Parisian friend recognised it straight away; I only knew from the signature) and the record label was based in New York - so I threw caution (and £3.35) to the wind and added it to my basket (an actual basket).

I think part of the reason I was so keen to buy something unknown and new was that I really wanted to discover a new band. My friend Vicky had been on holiday a while before and discovered The Postal Service. When she played it to us we all became huge fans. I really hoped that I'd be able to find an unknown band in a record in Paris, love the album and have all my friends love it too. The first part was easy, the second two weren't to be the case with Downtown.

I've not listened to this album in years, but I'm instantly reminded why it did little for me. Twilight starts the album with some weird mix between glitchy electronica and indie, but not in a good way. The singer's voice is a little on the annoying side, but not so much that it itself becomes an interesting part of the music. Lyrically it's pretty appalling too. At nearly an hour long it's also far too long. Alan Moulder and Flood (of Nine Inch Nails and Smashing Pumpkins fame) helped produce a couple of the songs but that doesn't offer much improvement. After a few songs I find I'm not paying any attention to the album at all; nothing stands out, nothing draws you in. There's a lyric/chorus on the last song which consists of just the words "Stay too long", which pretty much how I feel about this album.

I'm not being negative for the sake of it; this album just isn't very good. I looked the band up on Discogs and it looks like this was their sole release, along with a 12" single of the first song. I hope the two guys in the band have gone on to live fulfilling lives outside of the world of weak indie/electronic piss.

Format: Double 12"
Tracks: 12
Cost: £3.35 new
Bought: Virgin Megastore, Paris
When: 10/01/07
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no

Weezer - Make Believe

Oh Weezer. Like most people, the first Weezer album I got was the Blue Album. What a way to start. I was pretty late to the Weezer party and they'd already released a couple of dubious albums by this time. I picked up a few more albums although, rather embarrassingly, I never got round to Pinkerton. I like that I still have that as a treat for one day in the future.

Make Believe is firmly from the dubious years and I think I knew that when I bought it. I remember people commenting on how bad Beverly Hills was at the time. However, for €5 (from the epic Virgin Megastore January sale) I figured I should chance it, despite knowing the odds of actually getting much out of it was slim. In truth, Beverly Hills isn't a terrible Weezer song - it has all the makings of a good Weezer song but Rivers' couldn't-give-a-shit lyrics really rub it in your face that this isn't early 90's Weezer anymore. My Best Friend and Freak Me Out are some of the worst Weezer songs I've ever heard; in fact, My Best Friend is just one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Perfect Situation, We Are All on Drugs and The Other Way all sound like crappy pop-punk songs by some mid-2000's band who achieved moderate fame with one album then faded away. If this was, indeed, a record by such a band, I wouldn't be inclined to defend it as much as I want to because it's Weezer. Since this is the vinyl version, it contains the "wrong" version of We Are All on Drugs with a different closing two lines to the intended release version.

There are three very positive quotes from reviews on the front, which feels like it must have been a hard job to select. On the back there is a sticker with the original price Virgin were selling it for - €25 - I'm not too surprised that Make Believe found its way to the bargain bin in that case.

Format: 12", picture sleeve
Tracks: 12
Cost: £3.35 new
Bought: Virgin Megastore, Paris
When: 10/01/07
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no

Vex Red - Can't Smile

The final entry in Vex Red day is this 7". Can't Smile was definitely my favourite Vex Red song back in the day, and I'm pretty it was their most popular song. The verses were particularly bare so the choruses seemed even more impressive and then, towards the end, the song drifts into this outro about smoking weed (or rather about not smoking) despite the song being about not smiling. Maybe there is a link but I don't know what it is.

I remember not being in any rush to buy this single, but at the end of a long day record shopping in Southampton I found it in the Virgin Megastore shrink wrapped way too tightly and mostly bought it because I wanted to flatten out the sleeve. Strange, I know, but I didn't like seeing it all warped out of shape. Nowadays it's perfectly flat and largely ignored in my box of 7"s. It's a shame to be so indifferent about a band I used to love so much, but I guess these things happen. Maybe one day I'll play it again and get more from it than just nice memories of being at college.


Format: 7"
Tracks: 2
Cost: £1.50 new
Bought: Virgin Megastore, Southampton
When: 10/04/02
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no

Vex Red - Itch

So continuing with Vex Red day, here is their first 7" Itch. I remember not liking Itch as much as Can't Smile but still thinking it was a pretty good song. The heavy chorus/electronic verse/angst-y lyrics is pretty typical of their style. If you have no idea who this band are this is a good example of their music, but I probably wouldn't bother rushing to YouTube to give them a listen.

The non-album b-side Fast Cars begins (ironically) very slowly but builds up into the usual heavy/electronic combination they were going for. Nothing special really, but when this came out I absolutely adored it so it gets some points for nostalgia. 

Format: 7"

Tracks: 2

Cost: £2.50 new

Bought: Virgin Megastore, Southampton

When: 24/10/01

Colour: Black

Etching: none

mp3s: no

A Gun Called Tension - A Gun Called Tension

I picked up the cd of this album in an incredible record shop in Melbourne that I'll almost certainly never visit again, since I have no idea what it's called or where it is, and I live on the other side of the planet. It's a shame because it was a great shop and I felt like I'd barely begun spending money in there before I ran out of cash.

I was studying in Australia for a year and most of that had passed without me visiting Melbourne, so some friends and I skipped the last week of classes and drove down there (no wonder my grades suffered). I had an afternoon to myself so went out in search of record shops and found this very cool one, half underground on a side street somewhere. They had some great records and cds, both ones I was after and ones I'd never heard of. This album fell into the latter group, but the sticker on the front told me it was a collaboration between Dan Gallucci (of Modest Mouse and The Murder City Devils) and a guy called Sean Reveron. I asked to have a listen in the shop (something I don't often do) and was pleased by what I heard. There were elements of every genre I can imagine; mostly hip hop, but hints of punk, indie, electronica, ragga; some tracks were laid back, others aggressive. The songs 5+1 and Treason caught my ear and I decided to buy the cd, along with a small stack of other bits.

Fast-forward seven or eight months and I was in Paris just after New Year, again with an afternoon to spare. I went into the mammoth Virgin Megastore on the Champs Elysees (needing a break from culture) and found their New Year sale had just begun. Their New Year sale was incredible - pretty much everything in it was €5 (about £3.35) and there were countless awesome cds in boxes everywhere for dirt-cheap. I was in a wonderland and ended up buying about 20 or so cds. I also eventually found a few boxes of records for €5 each and picked up a couple of LPs. This record was in there, and £3.35 was certainly cheap enough to justify a vinyl copy, so I bought it too. I thought the basket (yes, a basket of cds!) I had was full, but some people were buying huge numbers of cds and dvds. Clearly January sales are a big thing in France.

Anyway, the record is ace. There are a few songs that don't stand out as much as others, but the good songs are really strong. Treason with Spencer Moody (from MCD) on vocals and Document are the highlights, the latter of which has made it onto many mixtapes I've made. 5+1 has this great piano part that kicks in after the intro and really makes the song. There's not a huge amount of hip-hop in my collection, but I have a lot of time for dirty, alternative hip-hop like this.


Format: 12", insert
Tracks: 12
Cost: £3.35 new
Bought: Virgin Megastore, Paris
When: 10/01/07
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no

Hell is For Heroes - Kamichi

Unlike the last single, I remember distinctly buying this record. I'd just finished for Christmas in my second year of University and had gone home via Bristol to visit my friend Nick. He still had a day of term left, so during the afternoon I went into town to see what I could find in Bristol's many (at the time) record shops. I'd applied to Bristol myself the year before and spent most of the open day browsing records. I always get lost in Bristol (even now with a smartphone) but had found Replay Records and bought a Minor Threat record and Screaming Life by Soundgarden. I also found my way into a Virgin Megastore and saw a couple of copies of this on the shelf. I was entirely unaware that Hell is For Heroes had a new album coming, so very excitedly bought a copy (even more-so as it was hand-numbered) . Of course, my record player was in Lancaster so I had to wait until January to play it.

The a-side would become the opener for their second album, Transmit Disrupt, and was a pretty good tune, although not as instantly memorable as the singles that had come before it. Road to Xanadu on the b-side was much more scatty than other other song I've ever heard by them, but still a good listen.


Format: 7", numbered (681/750)
Tracks: 2
Cost: £2 new
Bought: Virgin Bristol
When: 10/12/04
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no

Billy Talent - Devil in the Midnight Mass

Billy Talent aren't the coolest band (unless you're German, they love 'em) but they had some catchy tunes and this record is quite fun. I found this in the massive Virgin Megastore in Paris whilst killing time and buying way more cds than I expected (their January sale was really quite incredible). It ended up being about £2, which is pretty good for a shaped vinyl. The main bit of this record is about 7"s across, hence why I'm including it today. Shaped records always seem like a throw-back from the 80's, which I guess is why no one does them anymore. I suppose they're expensive to make, but I reckon for the right bands kids will go mad for them (maybe they are still about, but I just don't see many of them these days).

The a-side is alright, their usual high-pitched shouty style. They had a handful of tunes and I bought their first album back in the day, but remember being disappointed by the non-singles. The b-side however, is much more enjoyable; they cover Ever Fallen in Love  by The Buzzcocks, and it works well. A straight-up cover, but his vocal goes quite well with it.

The hole in the center of the record is ever-so-slightly too small, making it a real hard effort to turn over. The moral might be to leave it on the second side and not bother, but then you might as well just listen to The Buzzcocks. A fun record, but rarely listened to and far from essential.


Format: 7" devil's-head-shaped vinyl
Tracks: 2
Cost: £2 new
Bought: Virgin, Paris
When: 10/01/07
Colour: Picture disc
Etching: no
mp3s: no