Various Artists - Short Music For Short People

This is hands down the most ridiculous record I own. For those unfamiliar with it, Short Music for Short People is a Fat Wreck Chords compilation (a variation on the Fat Music for Fat People series) containing 101 songs by 101 bands each about 30-seconds long and crammed into 50 minutes. Pretty much every US punk band who had made a name for themselves in the late-90's (and plenty who hadn't, plus some non-US bands) appeared either with an album track, or a specially recorded song. They're all here, and I'll leave it to you to check the pictures below or the Wikipedia page to confirm that.

When I was 16 my friends Tom and Nick both had a copy of this on cd, and I remember thinking it was a pretty ridiculous but amusing idea at the time. On cd the format just about works - cds are limited to 99 tracks so the last three ran together as one track. Most importantly, if there's a song you like, you can easily check what number you're on and figure out who you're listening to. That's not an option on vinyl. The songs are so tightly crammed onto the two sides that there's no space for even one gap in the grooves, let alone 50 per side.

Both one of the best and worst things about this album was the huge number of bands it exposed us to. On one hand, we heard songs by bands like Black Flag and The Descendants but, on the other, they were only 30-seconds long so hardly the best example of their music. In fact, I think it's safe to say that none of the bands here really have the opportunity to show off their best side (except maybe Spazz, to whom 30-seconds is a long song) so I ended up ignoring a lot of these bands for a while for being "Short Music for Short People bands", rather than exploring properly. Twelve years later, I know a lot of these bands much better and it seems like shame that Like a Fish in Water had to be my introduction to The Bouncing Souls, for example.

Anyway, shortly before returning to Canberra for my second semester there, I found this LP in JB-Hifi in Sydney. I remembered how ridiculous it was, but also the good times we had listening to it at Tom's house and thought it would be a nice album to have on vinyl, so decided to pick it up (they also had a Supersuckers record on glow-in-the-dark vinyl that I still regret not buying). The excellent exchange rate meant it was only £6.90 and I had a nice chat with the sales guy about the album (he hadn't heard it, but wanted a copy himself). The cd booklet is included in a slightly larger 8"x8" size, which is a nice touch (and pretty much the only way to keep up with the songs). Each band gets a quarter of a page for whatever info they want to include.

I don't play this album a great deal, but it's format doesn't really lend itself to regular plays, especially not as an adult. There are highlights though, and my personal favourites are You Don't Know Shit by Youth Brigade, Fishfuck by Gwar (although mostly for comedy value) and Blatty (Human Egg) by Sick of it All.


Format: 12", 8"x8" booklet
Tracks: 101
Cost: £6.90 new
Bought: JB-Hifi, Sydney
When: 09/02/06
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no

Modest Mouse - Float On

Although this record was my first Modest Mouse purchase, it wasn't my introduction to the band. In my first year of university an American exchange student (who we only knew as "American Andy") burned a bunch of albums he thought I'd like onto an mp3 cd for me and one of them was The Moon and Antartica (which I did enjoy, particularly the song Dark Center of the Universe. Incidently, this was the same guy who introduced me to Hum). A short while later this 7" appeared just before the release of Good New for People Who Love Bad News and I picked it up in HMV in Winchester. I'm not sure I'd heard the a-side at this point, but I was deep in my The-Paper-Chase-are-the-best-band-ever phase and seeing John Congleton's name on the remix on the b-side probably convinced me.

Float On is of course one of the most upbeat songs ever written and is basically sunny-day good-times and everyone loves it for that. It's certainly graced my turntable a huge number of times in the eight years I've owned it. The b-side however, is as dark as I've come to expect from John Congleton. Maybe it's because I've played it more often, I think I prefer this version to the original; it somehow makes the song seem like more of an event. My problem with Modest Mouse is that, whilst they have lots of really great songs, they also have a huge number of completely average songs that I can really take or leave (both live and on record they have too many songs that I'm just not that bothered by). Bukowski is one of those album tracks that doesn't really stand out, but this version strips it back a bit and we're left with something worth getting excited about.


Format: 7"
Tracks: 2
Cost: £1.50 new
Bought: HMV Winchester
When: 12/07/04
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no

The Smashing Pumpkins - Adore

Rather shockingly, I think I may have never actually played this record until now. I bought it shortly before going to Australia and I'd owned the cd for years, so there's a good chance it's never graced my turntable until now. One of my reasons for writing this blog was so that I wouldn't neglect my vinyl, and it's safe to say that's working here.

Adore was the last of the proper Pumpkins albums that I bought on cd (I finally picked up Pisces Iscariot a short while afterwards) and the last that I bought on vinyl too (on a very successful record shopping trip to Brighton). I like it, but it gets a bad rep and it's hard not to think about that, or compare it to the other albums. It may not be the Pumpkins's finest work, but it's not a bad album by any stretch, it just stands out against all the other albums so much. Tear was always my favourite song, but the singles Ava Adore and Perfect were pretty good too. I miss the traditional Pumpkins sound from the songs though. Like most people in their twenties who loved the Pumpkins as a teenager, if I need my fix of Pumpkins (they're a hard band to go cold-turkey from) I usually opt for Siamese Dream, even though I was more of a Mellon Collie fan before. I suppose none of the things I really love about the Pumpkins are here. Playing it now, the lengthy For Martha stands out better than it used to. I'm a big fan of that song today.

One of the coolest things about the vinyl version of Adore is that the cover contains about twice as much of the picture as the cd does; whereas before it looked like a woman in a dress against a strange background (in black and white), you see that it's in fact a huge red flower and her dress forms some of the petals. Studying the two, you can see that they're actually different pictures from, presumably, the same shoot (note the different position of the arms). I have no idea why they decided on the smaller one for the cd because this one looks great.

The worst thing about the vinyl version of Adore, however, is that it's a monaural record and basically sounds shit. It's amazing how little I notice how good stereo sounds, but this record makes me realise it. Maybe it sounds better with a mono needle/turntable (another reason I haven't played it more is that I was worried my stereo needle would damage the vinyl). It seems like a strange choice, given that this is the Pumpkins at their most experimental and with a sound that would probably benefit from stereo. Also missing is the final track on the cd 17 (along with the poem that accompanied it) which I always thought was a nice way to finish the album, despite being just 17 seconds of piano. The fourth side is blank, but with the markings of some concentric circles on the disc, but not actually etched in; one-sided records are often completely free of any markings so I'm not sure why these are here. Despite what I hoped, they're not 17 in any hidden format.

So a nice record for any Pumpkins fan, but one that's more for looking at rather than playing.


Format: double 12", gatefold sleeve
Tracks: 15
Cost: £10 new
Bought: Borderline, Brighton
When: 11/01/06
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no

Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine

The other week Trent Reznor announced that he was bringing Nine Inch Nails back to life and I for one was very pleased. I've been a fan of NIN for nearly half my life now and I was pretty saddened when he called it quits a few years back. I'd had the good luck to see NIN nails a few times in the years in between and I loved seeing them play live. I went to Southside Festival in Germany in 2009 almost solely because NIN and Faith No More were playing - it was to be the last-ever NIN tour and was also the first of the FNM reunion shows and I wasn't going to miss either (as it happened they both played Leeds Festival that year too, but my friends and I were working on the bar and I was worried our shifts might clash with the bands we wanted to see. As it was, I missed the Pumpkins and NIN but caught FNM. Some solid 1990's headliners there). I danced like a madman to NIN at Southside because ultimately that's the thing I love most about the Nine Inch Nails - they're such good songs to dance to. I know it might sound like an odd statement, but Trent Reznor knows how to write a pop song, and that combined with guitars and industrial noise turns out to be a winning combination.

I bought a second hand copy of The Downward Spiral when I was 15 despite having never actually heard Nine Inch Nails. I'd read endless things about them (they were all over Kerrang! back then because The Fragile had not long been released). It was different to almost all the other music I was listening to because of the electrical edge to it. At that age a keyboard was seen as a sign of weakness in a band (although for a brief period a DJ in the ranks became very cool!). However, I loved the album and 13 years later I still do. I gradually picked up the other albums but Pretty Hate Machine stayed out of my collection for a short while and was the last NIN album I picked up of the ones out at that time. Kerrang! had called it "largely electronic" which I think put me off for a while; I thought perhaps I wouldn't enjoy it at that age, and maybe I was right. Certainly not finding a cheap copy probably put me off for a bit. Three years later I bought this copy in a long-closed but not-forgotten record shop in Southampton called FM Music (along with RATM's People of the Sun EP and Siamese Dream on double orange vinyl. I was clearly feeling wealthy that day - I'd been eyeing up all three of those records for ages).

By the time I heard Pretty Hate Machine I already knew other versions of half of the songs from the live album And All That Could Have Been and the absolutely incredible version of Something I Can Never Have on the accompanying Still cd (if you haven't heard it, I can't recommend it enough. That version consists of just Trent and a piano in a room with this beautiful echo). However, I knew the originals were going to be quite different, and I was glad I hadn't bought it much sooner because I'm not at all sure I would've got it. As it was, I enjoyed it, although still not as much as Broken or The Downward Spiral (my favourite NIN record varies regularly, but it's either one of those two or With Teeth). The singles and Terrible Lie are still brilliant songs and pretty much every time I hear them I think about throwing myself around to them at the front of the NIN shows I saw. Head Like a Hole is one of those truly great openers (I've never made a list of top Side One Track One songs like in High Fidelity, but Head Like a Hole is a contender).

Pretty Hate Machine went out of print and for a while finding a copy wasn't an entirely trivial task for a few years. It's since been reissued twice, but at the time I was pretty glad to find this copy. I don't have a huge amount of NIN vinyl but I certainly plan to flesh out my collection at some point. Decent copies of the older albums tend to be a bit pricey, but I'd be pretty happy if the other albums were sat on my shelf next to this one.

Format: 12", insert

Tracks: 10

Cost: £11 new

Bought: FM Music, Southampton

When: 03/05/03

Colour: Black

Etching: none

mp3s: no

Manic Street Preachers + The Fatima Mansions - Theme from M.A.S.H. (Suicide is Painless) / Everything I Do (I Do it For You)

Whilst it was the Motorcycle Emptiness single that I feel made me the record collector I am today, it was the search for this record that led me to find Motorcycle Emptiness, so it's a pretty significant record in that respect.

I read a few books on the Manics when I was becoming a huge fan and had read about this charity single featuring the Manics and another band, The Fatima Mansions, playing covers. Despite having never seen M.A.S.H., nor heard the theme song, I wanted to hear the Manics version. I think at that point the only song I'd heard the Manics cover was Damn Dog on Generation Terrorists, so I guess it was partly my desire to hear them take on other people's songs that made me want to hear it. On top of that, it was an early Manics song, and that time in their career was undeniably cool. 

Two years after buying the Motorcycle Emptiness 7" I found this 12" on an otherwise not-particularly-noteworthy record shopping trip to Bournemouth. I remember being ecstatic to see it on the wall, and in such good condition given its age. Unfortunately as I was getting off the bus home from the train station I dropped the bag it was in, slightly denting the top right corner; I was mad at myself for days because of that. I was pleased however that it was 12" rather than the 7" I'd originally been after because of the inclusion of Sleeping with the N.M.E., which is a fascinating piece of history - more on that shortly.

Suicide is Painless is an incredible song and the Manics take it on brilliantly. In fact it's probably one of my favourite examples of James Dean Bradfield's vocals. Naturally, it's noticeably different to the style of Generation Terrorists but they still make it their own; the final chorus after the brief solo pairs the thrashing guitars and piano fantastically. 

The Fatima Mansions (who are a band I know nothing about, nor have much desire to find out more) play a very strange 90's dub cover of Bryan Adams' Everything I Do (I Do it For You), which works if that's your kind of thing. It doesn't do an awful lot for me (the original version was the very first piece of music I ever bought at the age of 6 after having seen Robin Hood Prince of Thieves (which was also the first film I ever saw at the cinema). I was one of the many people who kept that song at number 1 in the UK charts for 16 weeks).

The second song on the b-side is called Sleeping with the N.M.E. and documents the conversations in the N.M.E. offices the morning after the famous "4 real" incident (in which Richey carved the words "4 real" into his arm after an interview with Steve Lamacq). After a quick summary, the debate turns to whether they can print the picture (of course, hearing this now twenty years after the event, we know that they did). The picture is pretty gruesome (particularly when you notice how wide the cut is at the top of the "4") and everyone (including a young Mary-Anne Hobbs) has varying opinions. It's not something I listen to often, but it's a fascinating glimpse into the havoc that one event caused.

So, as far as I'm concerned, the a-side of this single has always been (and still is) worth every penny of the £12 I spent on it alone, and the b-sides are what they are. I'm very glad to have this record in the collection.

Format: 12"

Tracks: 3

Cost: £12 second hand

Bought: Bournemouth

When: 30/05/02

Colour: Black

Etching: none

mp3s: no

Therapy? - Babyteeth

Running with the theme (British bands I got into when I was at school), here is Therapy?'s first mini-album/EP. The second gig I ever went to was Therapy? in Southampton University in February of 2000 (the first, for those interested, was Feeder in the same venue four months earlier and the third was Pitchshifter, relating back to yesterday's post again). Hugh suggested going to see them having, I assume, read about them in Kerrang! magazine (which was pretty much the only way we discovered bands back then). I think just the two of us went, having borrowed two of their albums from the library so that we at least knew some songs. We had The Yo-Yo's and Clutch supporting and I remember Clutch being particularly good (and the drummer going through a snare on a solo). Somewhere I still have my Suicide Pact, Your First Therapy? t-shirt, although time hasn't been it's friend.

Over the years that followed I picked up a handful of Therapy? albums with varying levels of success as far as my enjoyment went. For £3 I picked up the cassette of Nurse in a second hand shop in Boscombe which I still play now (on the rare occasion I'm near a tape deck) and still enjoy (especially Teethgrinder). A few years later I found this album in one of the second hand shops in Soho (along with a Dub War EP and on the same trip as the Blood Brothers album I wrote about the other week).

There may only be seven songs here, but they're all classic Therapy? noise-rock. Like Pitchshifter, they were doing something different with their music and not just playing straight-up metal, but where Pitchshifter embraced it, Therapy? let it slip and, in my opinion at least, let that edginess go. The plus-side however is that if you pick up an early Therapy? album there's always going to be something exciting going on. Highlights here are Meat Abstract (it would be years before I'd see Blade Runner and recognise the sample at the start), Animal Bones and Loser Cop. I think I might go and dig out that Nurse cassette now too...

Format: 12"

Tracks: 7

Cost: £3 second hand

Bought: Soho

When: 09/04/03

Colour: Black

Etching: Side A: "Ooops wrong planet" Side B: "Scare the hippies"

mp3s: no 

Pitch Shifter - Desensitized

Pitchshifter were a huge band for me and my friends for quite a number of years (something I've written about in much more detail here) but digging out their back-catalogue took quite some effort. We got into them when Deviant came out so it was quite easy to find that album and "dot com" in the shops. The first mini-album Industrial had been re-issued on cd and was fairly easy to come by too. Of course after hearing Deviant and "dot com" we were all quite knocked back by Industrial. I remember having read on the internet that Pitchshifter started as an industrial band (with a space in their name) and that the sampling and drum'n'bass came much later, however at 16 my knowledge of industrial music only really consisted of a couple of Nine Inch Nails albums so I was quite shocked by what met my ears. Still, I enjoyed it despite it almost being a different band to the one we had come to love.

Over the next few years I set about trying to find the other early Pitch Shifter albums, which was a task eBay helped considerably with. There were a few years when I spent hundreds on eBay, sending cheques to people across the country for records I'd won (these were the pre-PayPal days, and they were sloooow). During that time I picked up all the Pitch Shifter albums I was after either on cd or vinyl. I was lucky in finding this copy of Desensitized in reasonable condition for a mere £7, complete with insert.

Musically, Desensitized and Infotainment feeling like the jigsaw pieces that connect Industrial and "dot com"; the samples are there and they're starting to experiment but this album still fits perfectly on Earache Records - the guitars are cutting and vocals are still mean as shit. It's a pretty bleak album too, but that's one of the things I love about it. Diable and Triad are two of the best early Pitch Shifter songs for me (and I think the only two I ever saw them play live), but the whole album is enjoyable.


Format: 12", insert
Tracks: 12
Cost: £7 second hand
Bought: eBay
When: 18/06/03
Colour: Black
Etching: Side A:"Immitate your friends" (spelt with two m's) Side B: "Death to Pitch Shifter"
mp3s: no