Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness is, in my opinion, one of the greatest albums ever written. As a teenager and into my early 20's it was my favourite album of all time; it's still firmly in the top 10 and would probably be even without the nostalgia and years of idolising this album. A vinyl copy was for a long time my holy grail of record collecting and four years after hearing the album for this first time, I bought this copy. This is from the first run of triple vinyl - exact numbers seem to vary, but this one is #635, which is fairly low. Let's rewind a bit.
When I was 15 I was introduced to the music of the Smashing Pumpkins in the form of the video for
Tonight, Tonight; what a way to start. That song is so beautiful and the video that accompanies it is perfect. I can't imagine a world where I wouldn't have been bowled over by that at any age. 15, however, was the perfect age to discover Mellon Collie. As a teenager I convinced myself that the album was about this huge and eventful night out, the sort you only have when you're a teenager but always seem to have when you're a teenager - the structure of the album reinforces that idea - "dawn to dusk" and "twilight to starlight" and songs like
Tonight, Tonight (looking forward as the day begins),
In the Arms of Sleep (a perfect song for a love-struck teen) and rounding it off with
Farewell and Goodnight. The video for
1979 surely was the visual version of such a night. What an incredible concept album to have and hold as a teenager.
The vinyl pressing takes that idea and really hammers it home in my opinion. The running order here is almost entirely different and takes the ideas above and lays them out for the story to evolve in such a better way. It was a large part in wanting to own the vinyl - to experience an album I already loved in a different way. The sides of the records are named after the parts of the day they represent:
Dawn is a very gentle affair, still starting with the brilliant opening duo of
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and
Tonight, Tonight (as an aside, I remember looking at the cd in my local MVC before buying a copy and wondering what song could possibly precede
Tonight, Tonight; how do you go from anything to
Tonight, Tonight? It all made sense once I discovered that it was an instrumental intro song). It then goes straight into
Thirty-Three, a song that doesn't appear until the second disc on the cd. I like
Thirty Three but it was always the weakest single in my mind; there were so many other songs that I would have thought a better fifth single.
In the Arms of Sleep (a song I played endlessly as a teenager) is also moved far further forward - it works so much better in this position. To round it off, we also get the cd1 closer
Take Me Down sung by James Iha. It's a great combination of five songs and all work perfectly as a dawn to the day of the record.
Tea Time blows away that gentle opening with
Jellybelly and
Bodies. This chapter is surely about the excitement building up.
Porcelina of the Vast Oceans always sat strangely with me on the cd, but here, closing out the tea time section, it works. It's the album's longest song, but sounds heavier surrounded by the other songs here.
When you looks at the songs on
Dusk you know you're in for a treat. I'll just get this out of the way first, and it's something of a controversial statement:
Muzzle might just be my all-time favourite Smashing Pumpkins song. The first time I saw them live (in Shepherd's Bush Empire 2007) they played a 3-hour set and finished with
Muzzle. There's something comforting in a band finishing with your favourite song (it's like you all agree it's the best) but when it's not one of the "big singles" it's a bit unexpected. I wasn't even sure they'd play it and it ended up getting the prime spot on the setlist. I was surprised and amazed. I've not seen them play it since, but I hold that memory close to my heart. (As another aside, a similar thing happened the first time I saw Faith No More and they finished with
Just a Man.) I remember on the very first time I listened to Mellon Collie being caught by this song - the lyrics "Have you ever heard the words I'm singing in these songs / it's for the girl I loved all along" grabbing my ears by being so self-referential. I hadn't been paying enough attention. It was the perfect way to get me listening to the end and all things Billy "knew" and all the things the "world is". On later listens I was also taken by the start "I fear that I am ordinary, just like everyone", something that I really took to heart; for a long time that was my worst fear. When I die, I want
Muzzle played at my funeral - it's a rather morbid thing to think about but I decided that as a teenager and I feel that changing my mind one day would be like betraying my younger self, and I liked that guy too much to do that.
But this side isn't just about
Muzzle, because you also have the "other" big single from Mellon Collie,
Bullet With Butterfly Wings. I'd also been treated to the excellent video to this song before getting the album - it's hard to imagine an album that can contain both the delicate
Tonight, Tonight and the crazed-rock of
Bullet With Butterfly Wings. There's also the long
Thru the Eyes of Ruby (which has two truly incredible moments - just before the line "Your strength is my weakness, your weakness my hate" and the climax of "The night has come to hold us young" - and over 70 guitar tracks contributing to the fuzz),
Galapogos (the odd-one-out until it reaches it's peak with "Too late to turn back now" - so many of the songs here have changes in the music that match perfectly to certain lyrics) and the blistering fuzzy grunge of
Tales of a Scorched Earth. If tea time was the build up, dusk is the expected explosion; the planned highlights of a night that's only just begun.
Twilight is where the night starts to change from being just a regular night to one worthy of a concept album.
1979 is so entwined with the video that's hard to imagine it without picturing some kids driving around having a good time. The Pumpkins released some good songs after Mellon Collie, but I always wished more of them were about people rather than whatever strange ideas they were about. There is something much more relatable to a band singing about people and I like the idea of being able to relate to the Pumpkins. I always thought ending was very abrupt, but I've come to enjoy how unexpected it is. The love songs begin to come out in a way they hadn't before in the form of
Beautiful,
Cupid de Locke and
By Starlight and the album begins to get a bit more surreal.
The night turns a bit more aggressive on
Midnight with
Where Boys Fear to Tread (which serves as the opener to the second half on the cd tracklisting),
Zero,
Fuck You (An Ode to No One),
Love and
X.Y.U - all some of the heaviest songs on the album. The lovey scenes from twilight are knocked away in an instant by fuzz and distortion and Jimmy Chamberlin smashing the drums in his usual way. The transition between
Where Boys Fear to Tread and
Zero is slightly off and the only time in the album where you feel like you're not listening to it in the way it was produced - the two are a great pair, but the moment it goes from one to the other is just wrong. It's one of those things I spent a lot of time thinking about when making mixtapes, so maybe it's just my over-critical ear.
Zero is a huge song and probably better than
Bullet in a lot of ways but was somehow over-shadowed by it as the "heavy single". The riff on
Fuck You (An Ode to No One) is so fast it reminds you just how incredible these guys were. I love watching old live performances (and they've done a good job of supplying live dvds with the recent reissues) and when they're on form they're just mind-blowing. The moment when
X.Y.U. explodes with the line "And into the eyes of the jackyl I say ka-boom" is so, so good (how can an album have so many great moments like that - the sort that make you stop and pay full attention? Just incredible).
Finally, we turn to
Starlight to wrap things up.
Farewell and Goodnight has to be the closer in the same way that T
onight, Tonight has to be the (proper) opener, but on the vinyl edition we're treated to an acoustic reprise of
Tonight, Tonight called
Tonite Reprise and a matching instrumental closer (matching to the actual first song) called
Infinite Sadness creating a perfect book-ending to the album.
Tonite Reprise appeared as a b-side to
Tonight, Tonight and in the Aeroplane Flies High boxset but I'd never heard
Infinite Sadness until I got to the end of the vinyl - the acoustic guitar and drums lift it above the pomp and grandeur of the opener. It's such a great way to close off a incredible album.
Stumbleine and
Lilly (My One and Only) also fit perfectly in this chapter, as the night wraps up and concludes.
Farewell and Goodnight has a sound throughout that sounds like waves breaking on a beach, so it's easy to picture this incredible night ending on a beach somewhere with just the sound of the waves. The two extra songs provide that reflection to the start that we're missing on the cd and makes the whole experience even more enjoyable.
As I mentioned earlier, Mellon Collie was something of a holy grail for me. I'd seen it come up on eBay from time to time and watched it sell for anywhere between £75 and £125, depending on the condition. At this point I was a student living on £30-£40 a week after bills and rent, so it felt far away. Towards the end of my first year of university, I decided I'd start saving to buy a copy. It's a strange thing to say, but I'd been amazed by the idea that five small £2 coins were the same as a £10 note - I think I've always considered coins to be useless money and notes to be real money (and have always been very begrudging of the idea of breaking a note) - so the idea that a small stack of coins could be real money really struck me. I decided that I'd save every £2 coin that I got given in change and build up the pile until I had enough to afford Mellon Collie on vinyl. A part of it was also that as an adult the idea of saving is very different to how it was as a child. As a child I'd save whatever money I got to buy Lego and it was always really exciting to finally be able to buy it; I wanted that feeling again (and it was appropriate that it was for an album that defined my teenage years so much).
So I saved every £2 coin I received for about nine months. It wasn't too difficult and was quite an easy way to save - if I was on a night out and got £2 in change after buying drinks, then it wasn't too bad to not spend it. I don't remember finding I didn't have enough money for another drink, but it was a good incentive to not buy a dirty takeaway with my change on the way home. After that time I had 41 £2 coins. I'd been watching a few auctions on eBay of copies of Mellon Collie over a few weeks. I'd put in some bids on other copies but got outbid beyond my £2 coin collection. The selling prices were varying dramatically, but I got quite lucky with this one. A strategic last minute bid secured it as mine for £82 (including postage it was a bit more, but that's fine). I think the seller was in Ireland. I can't remember why it went for a more reasonable price than some others but I was very happy. The seller could have packaged it much better all considering, but it survived the journey and only has very minimal damage in general. The records themselves are in mint condition, as is the booklet (photographed below). I've only listened to the vinyl a few times in the 11 years I've owned it (I'm slightly scared to touch it) but they sound incredible, especially considering how thin the vinyl itself is.
To this day, this remains one of my most prized possessions. It's always nice to have albums you love on vinyl, but it's even better when that format gives you a better way of enjoying the album. It is still the most expensive record I've ever bought (by an increasingly small margin) but worth every penny.
Format: Triple 12", gatefold sleeve, 12-page booklet
Tracks: 30
Cost: £87.50 second hand
Bought: eBay
When: 12/03/05
Colour: Black
Etching: none
mp3s: no